Common Communication Mistakes in Relationships
Learn the most frequent communication errors that harm relationships and how to avoid them.
Arguments and disagreements in relationships or marriages are very common. This is completely natural. However, sometimes the words we use during these disagreements can be extremely destructive and hurtful. We can fall victim to momentary anger and make communication mistakes that disregard the love we feel for our partner.
The Problem May Resurface
Love, respect, trust, and pleasure are crucial principles in a relationship. Maintaining these four principles is meaningful. Communication mistakes include: using "you" language, making accusatory statements, expressing yourself in a punishing way, taking on a parental or authority role with each other, and going beyond sharing life together. Avoiding emotional and sexual sharing is another unwanted point in a relationship. It's necessary to preserve individuality. Another mistake in a relationship is being enmeshed. Instead of sharing a problem in the relationship with someone else (family members, friends) and bringing it outside, it should be resolved within the relationship. Otherwise, the problem can grow with outside interference and be pulled in wrong directions, or it may resurface during another issue.
Avoid Blaming the Other Person
Avoid blaming the other person. When facing a problem, instead of looking for who is right or wrong, it's important to understand each other's feelings and thoughts. A relationship involves two people, and blaming only one side or putting the burden on the other is another communication mistake.
What to Pay Attention to in Order to Avoid Communication Mistakes?
- Empathize. Empathy is important for conveying your feelings, thoughts, and points of hurt correctly and for explaining yourself.
- Avoid a loud tone of voice and insulting sentences.
- Don't hesitate to apologize in the relationship.
- Set expectations mutually and harmoniously. Every relationship has problems. Don't constantly expect gestures, surprises, and displays of love from the other person.
- If we are going to bring up past events, we should talk under neutral, calm conditions; otherwise, we should live in the "now".
- Don't focus on bad things. Dwelling on and thinking about breakups, bad events, and mistakes can prevent you from having good times and lead the relationship into disagreements and unrest.
- Ignoring a problem, not talking about it, and bottling it up can cause the problem to grow. Don't hesitate to calmly share your feelings and thoughts and to seek professional support.
Psychologist – Family Counselor M. Berk KARAOĞLU
